


"Romeo and Juliet"

by alwerakoo



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Boys In Love, Coming Out, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Character, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Happy Ending, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Pining, Referenced Suicide Attempt, References to Shakespeare, Relationship(s), Romeo and Juliet References, Soft Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Swearing, let them be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 10:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwerakoo/pseuds/alwerakoo
Summary: about how love takes time, because real people are not written by Shakespeare.





	"Romeo and Juliet"

**Author's Note:**

> This took me forever and its not even that good, but whatever.  
Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment!

Connor Murphy didn't believe in love at first sight.

In his house he had a whole collection of Shakespeare's works, arranged in alphabetical order on the top shelf, with the obvious lack of "Romeo and Juliet".

When he read it for the first time, he understood nothing, of course. So he just nodded, listening with only half an ear as his English teacher was mumbling something about true love.

When he read it again, he understood more. And the more he understood, the more he wanted to puke.

Because there it all looked so simple. You meet someone, your heartbeat suddenly increases, your knees get weak, the feeling is obviously mutual, and a moment later you are a happy couple, ready to do anything for each other.

And it was especially painful, because sometimes he really wanted it to be true. Just give all of you to someone with only one look and never get hurt.

Connor wondered if Shakespeare ever got his heart broken.

The book was quickly thrown in the corner and eventually ended up in Zoe's room or somewhere in the attic.

Because Connor couldn't really look at it anymore.

Because it was stupid, because Shakespeare doesn't know what he's writing about, because the main characters are morons, because this is not how love works, because love is just stupid.

But no matter how hard he tried, how much he denied it or how much he didn't want to, Connor Murphy, with his long hair, dark eyeliner, monochrome clothes and painted nails,deep down in his soul, never stopped believing in love.

Not the sweet, to-good-to-be-true one like on television, where a handsome gentleman meets a beautiful lady and after many seasons, or a very long movie, they get their happy ending and a first kiss in the rain.

Not that strange, sporadic one like between his parents, which was more of a attachment and fear of change than anything else. When it's so bad that you just forget that it ever was good good and role with it.

And not even like the one in books, where most of the characters' problems could be solved by a regular conversation, and in the end of the day you know that they will be together because they just have to.

Connor didn't quite know what he wanted and what he expected, but it didn't bother him.

Connor Murphy just wanted to be loved.

When he pushed Evan Hansen, his stomach suddenly turned over (which should not be mistaken with increased heartbeat and weak knees). Evan had blond hair and pretty, bright eyes, and face full of freckles, and a fucking cast on his arm, and now he was lying on the ground, and everything was Connor's fault. So he did what he should have done.

He run away.

But then he came back, finding Evan in the computer room, staring at the flashing cursor on an blank page. He signed on his cast and it was basically just really awkward, but then he said something about Shakespeare, and Evan called "Romeo and Juliet": "glorification of suicide," and Connor had never agreed with someone that much.

And over time, their brief conversations about nothing, that happened when none of them had anything better to do, turned into something more.

Evan started sitting next to him in the cafeteria, he was happy to give him all tomatoes from his sandwiches and playfully poked him with his foot under the table, and although Connor wasn't showing it, he slowly began to the thick wall that he always used to cut new people off, was slowly disintegrating.

Evan was the first person he ever came out to.

They were sitting on the bench outside the school, and Evan was waiting for his mom, who eventually sent him a message that something stopped her at work and she wouldn't be able to pick him up. Evan said "it's okay" and "I can just walk home," but Connor saw him biting the inside of his cheek, trying to stop himself from showing that he was just really fucking upset.

And Connor didn't stand outside of school for half an hour for nothing.

So he offered to give him a ride, and Evan refused, of course, because he was Evan, but Connor already had his bag in hand and was walking towards the car so he had no choice, really.

And when Connor heard the belt click from his right side and put his hand on the key to start the car, something stopped him. He raised his head, looking at the old oak tree, slowly losing its autumn leaves

''Hey, Evan?''

''Yeah?''

''I'm gay.''

''... Oh.''

And for a moment it was quiet. When Connor dared to look at the other boy again, there was some kind of shock on his face. But after a moment, Evan lowered his eyebrows, positioning himself more comfortably in the seat and smiled.

''That's cool, dude.''

And.

It was cool.

Connor felt like he finally got rid of something that was choking him for years.

He started the car.

God, it felt good to say it.

And then (a few months later, it required a lot of mental preparation) he took Evan to the orchard.

Which, as it turned out, stood where it always was, locked tight with a "private property, no entry" sign.

But as it turned out, it wasn't a problem at all, because before he fully realised that someone had cut him off from his only good childhood memories, Evan was already climbing over the fence, calling him over with a gesture of hand.

And a lot of important things happened in the orchard. 

Starting with "Actually ... no, he wouldn't be proud of me. My father left when I was little. I don't know why I said that. ", " I just don't get it, Connor. He says we're not even friends, and then he's acts like I'm cheating on him. ",and ending with " I don't even know I'm suppose to start anything with her. There is, like, nothing between us ... completely nothing. Have you ever tried to build a bridge without any instructions, Evan? ".

And many more, like the time when Evan sneaked up behind him, rubbing his face with snow, but Connor couldn't even be angry with him, because Evan just completely broke, considering it the funniest joke of the century. He was leaning on the tree trunk to avoid falling over from laughing, his nose was red and his scarf was blue, and Connor's attempt to remain serious ended in failure after about three seconds.

Or when Evan complimented his new perfume and Connor realized, he kind of bought it, hoping the other boy would like it.

And when the winter weather suddenly turned into a warm March, and Evan lay next to him on his back, eyes closed and the sun shining down on his pale eyelashes and freckled face, and Connor realized that he was staring at him for far too long.

And Connor showed him his scars. Like, officially, to get rid of the feeling that "of course Evan knows, they spent too much time together for him to not notice anything, but none of them was saying anything about it". He let Evan run his fingers over his wrists and let himself believe in "But now you have me. You know what I'm always there for you, right? "

And he said, "I'm here too, Evan," as he watched Evan squeeze his left arm, skin still pale from the cast.

And they said nothing more. Because they simply didn't have to.

Many things happened in the orchard.

Lots of confessions and meaningless conversations, moments when they just couldn't stop talking, and those when they just sat side by side in silence, shoulders barely touching.

But after all, the best was the end of May, when the heated grass felt like an extremely nice pillow under the head, and Evan suddenly rose on his elbow, interrupting Connor in the middle of a joke.

When Evan Hansen kissed him, everything became clear.

And suddenly Connor knew what he wanted from love. What exactly was his "ideal relationship", what he really expects.

He wanted Evan.

Shakespeare stories were still nonsense. Love takes months, it's like a fruit which you can theoretically eat before you should, but it will probably leave a bitter taste.

It required a lot more than just one look.

But it didn't matter.

Characters from his books have their own worlds. Full of first sight love, death and suicide, where everyone speaks in rhymes.

Connor decided to leave these worlds alone.

Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy were not like Romeo and Juliet. Because they didn't have to be.

They were just in love.


End file.
